why is the question I get asked a lot

why do I smoke?

why do I drink? 

why this and why that

why is a good question 

the answer is tricky 

the answer is different every time I’m asked 

when asked I simply say for the hell of it

when asked I simply say why not

the truth behind the answer is tuff

the truth 

where do I begin? 

I do them to feel numb

numb to the touching he did

numb to the feelings I felt

numb to the thoughts I had

the numbness helps me forget 

forget how he used me for his pleasure 

forget how I couldn’t do anything but watch

forget how I couldn’t move

forget how I couldn’t even talk to say no

the truth behind it all is complicated 

the truth is I can’t forget.

Medusa is a Blackburn student who wishes to remain anonymous.